1. |
Home
01:45
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Always with me
Yet gone for so long
I ache for your walls
Out here, cold and alone
Please, let me feel
Your warmness once more
Oh, home…
Will you be there when I call?
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2. |
An Ode to Guilt
01:53
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I looked down
Most of my life
The pit was deep
And dark
I forgot how to live
How what we had
Was just another
Lie
The guilt, nauseating
Made me a victim of life
(I am being dragged down)
Sometimes in my dreams
I still hear the pit
(I am being dragged down)
Calling for me
Still being a part of me
Grasping for air
Lies clench my lungs
Light slowly fading
The guilt is pulling me down
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3. |
Letters
02:38
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The letters you sent me
I always kept close
The words you wrote
Made me feel safe
The letters you gave me
Were pulling me down
The words you wrote
Left me some scars
True friends stay together
At least so you said
Why don’t I believe you then?
The day we said goodbye
Was the day we drowned.
Drowned ourselves in tears.
It hurts watching you sink from a distance.
A distance I can never travel on my own.
Some things you said I will never forget
‘I will love you forever’ still echoes in my head
Pull the curtains so I don’t see the light
It reminds me of a past life
Not all tears are happy tears.
The only thing your letters will bring
Is a sad synopsis on my coffin
That no one will ever care to read…
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4. |
Ballet of Failures
03:14
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The image of happiness continues to fade
Its shape turned to emptiness inside my chest
It tends to keep me up during these cold nights
These drinks that keep me warm might break me down
Bent under my own shadow, afraid to look up
No one ever bothers to offer me a hand
Alone in my own pain, a forced smile on my face
Smiling while I fall, no one will ever know
Pull me up.
I’d like to taste the light.
Let me down.
Hope has abandoned me.
In the city of sadness no one seems to care
But everybody stares when I’m crying for help
Alone in my own pain, a forced smile on my face
Smiling while I fall, no one will ever know
My body, broken and covered in bruises.
My weak heart, barely held together by stitches.
Why does happiness always shun its face away from me?
Why does love always turn its back on me?
How much longer until there is no return?
I keep telling myself that I can make it
But the future doesn’t seem so bright
With knives in my back and nails in my lungs
Breathing is hard, my knees are giving up
Betrayal after betrayal, I no longer have the strength
To fight back and to move on, just let me lie down
In this bed of razors that the world has made for me
A lonely soul in a constant war
A fragile heart in a constant longing
A lonely soul gives up the battle
A fragile heart stops beating
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5. |
||||
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Safety is something I’ve never felt
Well, at least not since the day you left
I’m lost, I’m lost
Silence is my song
I keep asking myself if I can ever forget
But the truth is I don’t even want to
I wander, I wonder
Do you remember me?
Bleak is the life when you keep looking with your eyes shut.
Disappointments, they never seem to leave my side.
I push forward but heart still holds on to the past.
Living with pain is something I have grown to accept.
I don’t think this is what you wanted.
The fear I saw in your eyes was the same I saw in mine.
I know it wasn’t your fault.
It was love, turning its back on me once again.
I am a slave to myself.
Can’t escape this tight skin.
And you still hold the key.
You, a shadow I lost long ago.
I am a slave.
I can’t escape.
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6. |
Hostage
01:21
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A warm breeze on my skin, but I can’t breathe.
I am wide awake, yet I am dead.
Air holds a firm grip around my wounded throat.
Words elude me. I am smothering in this fog.
These sharp voices, I can’t comprehend.
Time stands still, I walk by.
Trapped in this empty city.
Trapped in this small room.
Is this what I’ll feel like forever?
I hope this hell ends soon.
A cold breeze on my skin, but I can’t breathe.
I can’t see through the fog. I don’t want to be awake.
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7. |
Stalemate
01:30
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The drowning started
When I was still a kid
When I walked away
Not turning back
Never turning back
Do me a favor, return me
This journey was a forced trip, I see
I was blind but I watched it waning
This wane stared back at me
Looking through a mirror
Like I'm not a part of it
Decay has ruled here since I left
I have no memory of this place
Let it die, let me pass away
I have no memory of this place
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8. |
Chagrins D’Amour
02:58
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Erase the coldest summer day
When I pushed you away
Even though I wanted you to stay
I pushed you away again but soon you came back searching for home
Our fall came with the fall
We fell heart-first
We fell when the first rains fell
I pushed you away again but you took your place once more inside my head
Dry leaves, already dead and gone
Unaware of our pain
Lying serene on the ground
Don’t think twice, break my spine
Don’t worry, I’ll be fine
Like a deer in the headlights
I felt scared and turned to stone
Smashed on the windshield
And saturated with regrets
Now there’s a person I hate in the mirror
We fell when the first rains fell
Heartache struck us both
Like a kick in the teeth, like a poison dart
When life tore us apart
Purpose avoids me like the plague
Sadness greets me with well-known tears
And I carry the weight of the same mistakes I always make
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9. |
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For the good of you
Dragging myself through broken glass
It’s growing on me
The cancer of love I used to feel safe in
Gone with the wind
And I’m still empty, still useless…
Still stressed, still lonely…
Still dead, still miserable…
The wind reminds me of your hum
My clothes soaking from all the times I screamed your name
The sound of life, no more than a single tone
This melody, slowly forgotten
The wind reminds me of your hum
My eyes tear up when I think of those times…
For what I’m worth, you should have had better
For what I’m worth, your life should’ve ended better
Nothing I sing anymore, nobody will hear
And it doesn’t bother me
It doesn’t bother me…
The wind makes me feel safe…
The birds sing the lullaby that we used to sing
And the crows stand by me while I look at you
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10. |
Epitaph
02:47
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When I wake up it feels like a war lost on a first day.
And every step falls heavy on my knees.
As I keep on hiking this mountain of mine,
The sweat turns red and my vision gray.
And I crash, and I stumble,
And I bleed, I fall, I crumble.
With bloody knees I scrape the ground,
while you pass a beggar wishing to be drowned...
While we pass a beggar...
Rotten from the inside
It hurts as I try to shout
On top of myself, on top of my lungs
The light fades as I cry
And as the sun hits its final form
I just let it all out
Love is a death of heart.
These tears are scarred.
Lessons learned through pain…
Love is anger at heart.
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Path of Cestoda Karlovac, Croatia
Emotional sweethearts from Karlovac/Duga Resa
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